Lessons in Influence from Meshell Baker

The moment arrives in every leader’s journey when the old playbook no longer works. For Meshell Baker, Chief Confidence Igniter and leadership coach, that moment came when she stood before a team facing radical change and heard the rumblings of doubt.

Instead of shutting down the skeptics, she leaned in.

“There’s always at least one, if not more, naysayers in the crowd,” Meshell reflects. “I find that many times people want to squash that negativity. Actually allowing it to come out, just because one person said it doesn’t mean other people aren’t thinking it or feeling it.”

What happened next transformed her entire leadership philosophy. She thanked the dissenter for their vulnerability, invited the team to explore the doubt together, and asked questions—not to prove a point, but to unlock possibility.

This is leadership as influence, not instruction.

The Moment That Shaped Everything

When Meshell encountered resistance during a transformation initiative, she did something radical: she surfaced the doubt rather than suppressing it.

“Let’s literally address this and acknowledge it. It’s not a bad thing,” she told her team. “It’s OK to have doubts. This is the normal human experience when you’re getting ready to take on something you’ve never done before.”

Then she pivoted. Rather than defending the plan, Meshell asked questions:
“Based on your doubt, does anyone have ideas on how we can solve that? Did anything come up for you as a possible solution?”

The team became co-creators. The dissenter transformed from obstacle to contributor. And Meshell discovered her foundational principle: questions are more powerful than answers, and influence outlasts instruction every time.

The Difference Between Management and Leadership

The confusion between managing and leading costs organizations more than missed deadlines—it costs them the hearts and minds of their people.

“A manager is going to instruct somebody what to do,” Meshell explains. “A leader is going to inspire somebody why to do it. Once they’re inspired why, you generally get repetitive behaviors that excel. The other way, you’re going to get repetitive behavior, but it’s out of obligation.”

Titles don’t make leaders. Influence does. And influence requires something many leaders aren’t trained to do: letting go of the need to be right.

“You can’t be right and influential at the same time,” she says. “If your desire is to be right or to have the spotlight, that’s not leadership.”

Real leadership means inspiring people to take ownership collectively. The strongest leaders often find themselves in the spotlight not because they sought it, but because their intention was to cultivate change and create meaningful outcomes for others.

Where Leaders Lose People During Change

The apex of transformation is where leaders unknowingly sabotage their own efforts. It’s the moment they experience breakthrough and then try to drag everyone else through it.

“That’s where you lose people,” Meshell warns. “When you’re experiencing transformation, how can you help someone go through it without telling them how? How do you help them have awareness without telling them what they should do, need to do, or have to do?”

The language of transformation reveals the problem. Should. Need to. Have to. These words instruct rather than inspire. And what worked for one leader won’t work for everyone else.

Understanding that distinction is one of the clearest differences between management and leadership.

The Power of Questions

In a world obsessed with having answers, Meshell has built her work around asking questions—not as a technique, but as a belief about human potential.

“Questions are powerful, and we rarely ask them,” she says. “Many leaders focus on telling people what to do versus helping people generate or co-create an opportunity to look at it differently.”

When doubt surfaces, Meshell doesn’t counter it with reassurance. She asks, “What are you thinking? What possibilities do you see?”

That shift transforms skepticism into collaboration. It creates space for critical thinking instead of shutting it down. And it sends a message every leader hopes their team hears:

I believe you are capable.

Creating Alignment When Everything Is Moving Fast

Meshell starts her meetings with intention: a clear purpose, a simple agenda, and two minutes of mindful breathing.

“My coaching clients get on calls and say, ‘We’re going to do our two minutes now?’” she laughs. “They’re thirsty for it.”

Why? Because presence creates potential.

“If you are not present,” she explains, “you’re dragging the past instead of creating the future.”

She often uses this metaphor: “What does an explorer who’s never been somewhere do? They keep checking the map, even if they’ve never been there. They recalibrate based on what they’re experiencing.”

Leadership during change works the same way. Alignment doesn’t come from certainty; it comes from consistent recalibration.

Habits That Keep Momentum Alive

Top performers don’t wait to see how the day unfolds; they decide how they will show up.

“If you only have 15 minutes, make it your morning,” Meshell advises. “Begin to decide that today is the day you win. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t happen. What matters is that you consistently do it.”

For teams, momentum comes from regular communication, even briefly. From leaders who are approachable before problems escalate. From celebrating learning, not just wins.

For Meshell, what all of these habits have in common is this: they pull leaders out of reactivity and back into intention.

You Can’t Pour From an Empty Cup

For servant leaders especially, self-care can feel selfish until burnout proves otherwise.

Four years ago, Meshell relocated to help her aging parents while caring for her disabled sister. She was running a business and fully on-call at all hours.

“My self-care took a hit,” she recalls. “I became resentful, angry, snapping at everybody.”

A trusted friend intervened and encouraged her to step away for a weekend seminar. She resisted but went.

“It completely changed and turned me around.”

“If you’ve been running nonstop,” she says, “you’re not going to create the solution that gets you back on track. Sometimes it requires help from outside yourself.”

The most successful leaders understand this difference: investing in yourself isn’t an expense—it’s a responsibility.

Resetting When Resistance Shows Up

When clarity gets muddy, most leaders try to solve harder. Meshell takes a different approach. She reimagines.

“What would this look like if it were successful?” she asks. “What would that relationship feel like if it were working?” Shifting from problem to possibility unlocks forward motion. Nine times out of ten, leaders realize they weren’t stuck in the issue; they were stuck in the story they were repeating.

To create that shift, Meshell often prescribes something that feels countercultural in fast-moving environments: stillness.

“The pace of change is external,” she explains. “The only way to manage that pace is to manage yourself.”

Stillness doesn’t offer immediate rewards, which is why people resist it. At first, it can surface discomfort, regret, resentment, fatigue. But with consistency, clarity emerges. Patterns soften. Perspective widens. Leaders stop reacting and begin choosing again.

“I believe every person already carries the answers they’re looking for,” Meshell says. “Stillness is how we hear them.”

A Story Few People Know

There’s a part of Meshell’s story that rarely appears in bios.

She grew up in an urban environment and started businesses at thirteen but lacked mentorship. She gave in to her surroundings, nearly failed out of school, and was incarcerated by twenty.

What changed everything wasn’t instruction but a question.

“Every mentor who showed up asked me a question that altered my perception of possibility,” she says. “One person asked, ‘Have you ever thought about college?’”

No pressure. No directive. Just possibility.

Two years later, she was a twenty-five-year-old freshman at Howard University.

For women navigating male-dominated industries, or wondering if their past disqualifies them Meshell’s story is a reminder: your starting point does not determine your impact.

One Sentence to Lead By

If leaders could take just one thing from Meshell’s experience, it would be this:

“Inspire people to believe in what’s possible.”

Leadership multiplies what it embodies. When leaders show up with frustration, they create more of it. When they lead with belief, curiosity, and intention, they create teams that innovate and transform.

That is influence.
And influence, when rooted in belief, can change everything.

The choice begins before the workday starts. It begins in the questions we ask ourselves, the stories we interrupt, and the space we create for others to step forward.

For women navigating uncertainty, leading through change, or building careers in an industry that continues to evolve, community matters. Growth doesn’t happen in isolation. It happens through shared stories, honest conversations, and connection with others who understand the journey.

If you’re looking to deepen your leadership, expand your perspective, and connect with women across the automotive industry who are leading change in meaningful ways, we invite you to join the Women In Automotive Community. It’s a place for learning, encouragement, and support, designed to help women not only succeed, but thrive.

Learn more and get involved at womeninautomotive.com.